True Blood's Best Merchandise

The best True Blood merch short of having a live-in Sookie Stackhouse.

VILF Water Bottle

VILF! If you can't figure out what it stands for, I'm not going to help you. But one of the benefits of being acronym ignorant is getting to use your imagination! V can mean VHS, vagina, or voodoo: really, the world is yours here. Cop one of these aluminum water (or blooood?) bottles for $14.99.

True Love Sookie & Bill Statue

You're better than a cheap-o action figure from the grocery store, ain't ya? Step your game up with this Sookie & Bill statue from DC Direct. Measuring up at over a foot tall, True: Love Sookie & Bill is made of hand-painted, cold-cast porcelain. Beware, though: some assembly is required. Provided that doesn't scare you off, you can nab it here for $195.

Merlotte's Neon Sign

Your home bar could definitely benefit from more neon signage, no matter how many Bud and Corona signs you have up. You could do worse than a replica of the sign outside Merlotte's, Sam's Tru Blood-carrying, paranormal-attracting bar and grill. Judging by Sam's romantic history, you'll be bringing in plenty of exotic ladies who prefer to cavort in various states of undress and/or shapeshifting. Amazon's got it for $77.

Tru Blood Mirror

This'll go perfectly with that Merlotte's neon sign. Just like the booze mirrors behind the bar at the corner joint your dad drank at after work instead of spending time with you, this Tru Blood mirror shills the fake red stuff. You can buy actual True Blood Tru Blood, though it tastes like blood orange instead of regular blood. Living solely on blood red orange juice soda liquid? No wonder vamps go rogue for the real stuff. Sounds delish, but not as a total food replacement. Get it for $48.99 from Big Bad Toy Store.

Cup of Joe Poster

Posters are usually just for dorms and childhood bedrooms, but get a real good one and class it up with a frame, you're good to go into adulthood. This one's a great joke, if you don't think about why the blood would be in a coffee pot. They serve Tru Blood in cold bottles, don't they? Or at least room temperature? Sorry, ruined the fun. I always do that. Fortunately, though, this is the most economical item on the list at just over $6.

Tru Blood Party Lights

A party isn't a party without party lights, right? At least that's what I imagine. I haven't really been to any of those. For your next True Blood viewing party, consider these mini Tru Blood bottle party lights. Just don't bite them open and try to suck the juice out. That would probably taste like electricity. This magical string of ten lights can be yours for $29.99, or $2.999 per light.

I Wanna Do Bad Things With You Necklace

Series fans will already recognize this from the theme's lyrics; non-fans will just appreciate the chance to deliver an overt message to potential suitors. This stamped metal necklace is available on Corso Studio's Etsy store for $12 with free shipping. None too shabby!

Bon Temps Football T-Shirt

If you buy this Bon Temps Football t-shirt, what is Jason Stackhouse going to wear? I'm pretty sure it's the only shirt he owns. I guess he'll just have to stay in his cop uniform full-time, then. It's available for $20 in up to a 3XL. Hey, they don't even charge you more for the big sizes! I like that. We hate having to pay for the extra material.

Headphones

Dig these True Blood headphones by V-Moda. Inspired by the TV series from the interchangable shields to the vial of "blood" on the headphone case, these V-80 phones are no slouch. The kevlar-enforced cables may be a bit of overkill, but this is a highly stylized television program about sexy sex-having vampires we're dealing with. Pretty much anything goes. Amazon's got them for a discounted $199.99.

Fangtasia Hoodie

We're all about repping our favorite fang-banger hanger-outer, and there's plenty of Fangtasia merchandise to split you and your money. You can't buy it all, but you can't deny the appeal of the hoody with the crisp, clean, angled logo. Simple and simply perfect. Get it from the official HBO store for $39.99.

Eric Bust

If we had to cuddle up with a Nordic gentleman, it would definitely be Eric Northman. Not because we're into muscular blonde dudes or anything, it's just that he seems like he'd be great at a sleepover. If you want to have your own Eric Northman sleepover, get this bust from the HBO store for $69.99. We won't tell.