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Slice 'em and dice 'em: this applies to both medieval enemies and admiring ladies' hopes and dreams.
Inigo Montoya's Sword
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Be prepared to recite this line plenty of times when unsheathing this Princess Bride replica. Limited to 750 pieces, this sword can be yours for $309.99 from Entertainment Earth. I have never seen its equal.
Though there are an inappropriate amount of particularly nonsensical, unlicensed Batman swords out there, this bat sword is just about the winged vampire. Specifically, a winged demon vampire who kind of reminds us of the bat queen with the supple boobs from Darksiders. You'll have to paint boobs on this sword if you want them, though. The 47" battle sword will run you a cool $76.22 at Saber and Sword.
All swords can cut, but not all swords can decaptitate the otherwise immortal. If you're headed out to a particularly violent and/or Scottish ren fair, hook yourself up with this $300 replica sword from the beloved Highlander flick via Entertainment Earth. If you haven't seen Highlander, do so immediately for the Sean Connery action. If you haven't seen Highlander II, keep it that way. There can truly be only one.
Link's Master Sword
Shucks, bro, you can totally take a Zelda sword to a renaissance faire. It's fantasy, and fantasy stuff is usually medieval, and that's pretty close to the renaissance, if I remember my musty global history textbook correctly. Therefore, by the transitive property, you should probably buy this replica from SwordsSwords and keep it hipside for every occasion, formal and informal.
Don't you love the adorable Arya Stark's little but deadly sword, Needle? Sure you do, and you want it for yourself. Be you wee little girl or big fat gentleman. These licensed swords come with a certificate of authenticity signed by Game of Thrones series author George R.R. Martin. Needlework seems a bit more appealing now, eh? Stick 'em with the pointy end for a decent $190 from Valyrian Steel.
Alright, so 1066 is a little bit removed from the time period for you to take this with you to your sweaty jousting demonstration at the Wisconsin renaissance faire, but knights are knights, right? And the Anointed 1066 Knights Templar Golden Sword from SwordsSwords is nothing but badass. Really, wars are a lot more terrifying when they're religiously motivated. Get yours for a tithing of $60, then see if you can use it to conquer England all over again (spoiler: you will be shot by helicopters).
It should go without saying that all bedragonized blades are sharper and deadlier than their plainer, less dragon brethren. Should you make the mistake of going eye-to-eye with either of the two dragon heads on this sword, your codpiece will be irrevocably soiled. Though this piece is advertised as having four moving dragon parts, I can only spot two. Maybe the other two take a secret password or the spilled blood of an enemy to activate? Order your own from Swords Of Might and find out.
There are plenty of awesome replica Lord of the Rings swords out there, but I've got a tender fleshy bit for the Sword of Isildur. The 47-inch sword is modeled directly after the sword seen in Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. If it's been awhile since you've seen LOTR, this is the sword Isildur uses to cut the One Ring off of Sauron's hand. Amazon's got it cheaper than others, for just under $100.
I haven't bought many fantasy swords, so I've been blissfully unaware until now that fantasy swords with their own extreme backstories exist. Kit Rae's swords have their own fiction, which I didn't know I needed in my high-end fantasy swords but now do. I am partial to Exotath, which can be picked up at CBSwords, which belongs to a dark elf warrior and pretty much expresses how I feel on the inside.
Dragon Scimitar
A sword should have a fancy name like Dragon Scimitar. All the better for striking fear into your enemy's heart before it strikes itself up in there. This unusual red blade is rather purty, and so is the double dragon guard that you can remove from the hilt (in case you want to stick that much more of your sword through somebody). Get yours from $58 through True Swords.
This is the deadliest sword in America. Why? 99% of people would take out a gun and shoot themselves in the face rather than be lightly grazed by a spider that looks like this. This blade does all the work for you, freeing up your thrusting arm muscles for more important things like swinging beer mugs during a rousing Irish drinking song or shooting hoops grandma-style for your Space Jam revival musical. Pick up the Spider Fantasy Sword for only $35 from WeaponMasters.
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